


his eyes on the horizon

by sinshine



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, M/M, spoilers for recent chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 09:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13567401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinshine/pseuds/sinshine
Summary: “You're...” Kaneki clenched his trembling hands into fists and swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. No matter how many times he saw Hide like this, it never got any easier. “You're not supposed to be here.”“Neither are you.” Hide's smile was at once both mischievous and nostalgic. Kaneki's heart ached at the sight.





	his eyes on the horizon

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this in between chapters 157 & 158\. Just a small "what if Kaneki ran into Hide instead of Rize?"

When Kaneki finally made his way back to the house (or was it a shrine?), he was exhausted. He managed to hoist himself up onto the porch on his second try and collapsed there on the wood planks, breathing heavily. The further out he went, the more treacherous the sea became. The currents threatened to pull him into unfathomably deep water, filled with darkness and those- those _people_.

_(Murderer,_ a voice at the back of his head whispered.)

Kaneki pushed himself up with a weary sigh and gazed out at the water. It was quiet here. The only sounds were the gentle lapping of the waves and the fabric of the signs that fluttered in the breeze. It would have been a beautiful place if it wasn't so surreal and ominous. His own name, repeated over and over again on the signs, stared back at him.

Deciding that he had had enough of the scenery for now, Kaneki stood and went back inside the house. Maybe there had been something he missed or overlooked earlier; some clue that would help to guide him out of this place. Kaneki walked once again through the labyrinth of corridors and empty rooms. He couldn't find the area where he had first woken up, so it was impossible to retrace his steps exactly. He went systematically from place to place, picking up and turning over any objects that he found; a cup, an empty basin, a broom made from bamboo. He found a few books but they were filled with clean, white pages. The house remained silent and devoid of any signs of life.

Kaneki set another blank book back on the shelf where he had found it, his frustration rising. Maybe there weren't actually any clues here. Maybe he would just spend his time going round and round in circles, until he dove into the water to be dragged down into its depths by the restless dead.

Kaneki stopped walking, distracted from his darkening thoughts by a change in the quality of the air. It was impossible, of course, but it smelled like-

“Hey.”

The voice came from behind him. Kaneki turned slowly. He felt as though the breath had been punched out of his lungs.

Hide stood there, smiling and wearing a black yukata. He held a mug of coffee, steam curling off of its surface.

“You're...” Kaneki clenched his trembling hands into fists and swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. No matter how many times he saw Hide like this, it never got any easier. “You're not supposed to be here.”

“Neither are you.” Hide's smile was at once both mischievous and nostalgic. Kaneki's heart ached at the sight. “I've definitely got you beat in the 'sneaking around' department. Following your trail was too easy!”

“My what?”

Hide stepped to the side of the hall and indicated the floor with a sweeping motion of his arm. All throughout the house, water had dripped from Kaneki's wet clothing.

“Oh.”

Hide laughed and offered the coffee to him. When Kaneki's only response was to stare dolefully at it, Hide nudged him in the arm with the mug, repeatedly. Kaneki was forced to take it when coffee began to slop over the rim and drip onto the floor.

“What are you looking for?”

“I don't know.”

“So, just being nosy?” Hide nodded approvingly.

“No, that's not...” Kaneki trailed off with a sigh, feeling both unwilling and unable to explain himself. He wrapped both of his hands around the mug and tried to focus on its warmth.

“Where are you going?”

“I don't know,” Kaneki said, but then attempted to elaborate, “I think I'm lost.”

“Oh, then that's easy!”

Hide took Kaneki by the elbow and steered him towards one of the large, circular windows that stretched from floor to ceiling. He sat cross-legged in front of it and pat the space on the floor next to him, indicating for Kaneki to do the same.

“When you're lost, you stay right where you are and wait for someone to find you.”

Kaneki opened his mouth, then changed his mind and closed it. He sat down next to Hide, resting on his knees.

For a long moment, they looked out at the sea and were quiet. The air was still and Kaneki could hear the gentle lapping of the waves beneath them. From here, it was hard to remember that just a bit further out was a rip tide waiting to drag him down, down into darkness and those thousands of dull, open eyes-

“You're trembling,” Hide said softly. “You should drink up.”

Kaneki raised the drink to his lips and took a cautious sip. It was black and tasted familiar, so he drank a bit more.

“Blondy?” he asked Hide, who nodded in return.

“The finest grind available for someone on a student budget.”

“But you're not...”

“Not what?”

Kaneki could hear the challenge in Hide's voice and he hesitated to answer.

“You're... not a student. Anymore.”

“Oh, so you're complaining that I don't have anything nicer? You're so picky, Kaneki!” Hide wailed unhappily. He leaned back on his hands and tilted his chin upwards, sighing dramatically. “It's not like I can control it! This place is a physical manifestation of _your_ psychological state, after all. Why do _you_ think that I would offer you Blondy brand coffee?”

Hide stared at Kaneki as he waited for him to answer and Kaneki stared right back. He had seen Hide wear a yukata once before at a school event. He remembered that Hide didn't seem to like traditional clothing, even though it had suited him quite well.

“Back in November... the last November we spent together, I went over to your apartment. It was under the pretense of studying together. You said you were going to help me catch up on Asian History, but I think you just missed me. I missed you, too.” Kaneki's throat felt tight.

“You gave me this coffee. Not- not just the brand, this _exact_ cup.” Kaneki ran his thumb along the rim. His fingernail scraped at a chip near the handle. “You had stolen it from one of the student lounges. It had an outdated Kamii logo on it. And you had somehow b-burned the coffee, even though all you had needed to do was put it in the coffee maker and p-push a button!”

Kaneki's laugh turned into a choked sob. He hunched over, curling in on himself as he shuddered and tears rolled down his face. Hide watched him, silently.

“You knew, didn't you?” Kaneki croaked out. “Even then, you knew. Because before the surgery, you were always trying to pay for my meals, always trying to feed me. But after I threw up at Big Girl, you only ever gave me coffee. What's wrong with me? Why didn't I notice then?”

“Kaneki-”

There was the _clink_ of a discarded mug hitting the floor and then Hide was flat on his back, looking up at the ceiling. Kaneki had flung himself on top of him and wrapped his arms around Hide's shoulders, his face nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

“I should have hugged you back,” Kaneki sobbed. Hide's scent was just like he remembered. “I was so afraid to touch you, even when I was human. I didn't know what I would do if you left me, so I l-left you first.”

Hide rubbed his hands up and down Kaneki's back and waited patiently for him to finish crying. When the last of his shivering subsided, Kaneki slowly raised himself back up. He lingered for a moment when his face was close to Hide's. Kaneki thought about all the things that he wished they had done together. After they sat back up, Kaneki let Hide wipe his face clean with the sleeve of his yukata even though they were now both damp with seawater and tears. Hide handed him the same mug of coffee, full and steaming once more.

“Hide.”

“Kaneki?”

“I have to go. I... I don't think I'm waiting here. I think I'm hiding, and I can't hide anymore.” Kaneki set the mug gently down on the floor between them and then stood up. “I'm not sure what happened, but I think I did something terrible. I have to go find out what it is and face it.”

Hide hummed thoughtfully and smiled up at him. “I thought you might say something like that. You should get going, the sun will be setting soon.”

Kaneki nodded. He took one last, long look at Hide and then turned away. “Goodbye, Hide. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Be safe.”

 


End file.
